Archive | January 2013

Inviting darkness

Things are becoming grim again. That warmth of sunlight that he felt slowly fades away leaving an icy chill behind. The bonds he used to cherish are breaking. The light slowly fades inviting darkness to take it’s place. A hole in his chest begins to open, threatening his existence. But he does nothing as it widens because he wishes not to exist. Every movement becoming difficult, now he just awaits the pain. He knows it will arrive as soon as he tries to question his fate. It will bring back memories, painful memories that will remind his that his life was always this pathetic, pointless and purposeless, it’s only now that he has realised the same.

He would like to believe that this darkness that surrounds him exists because of his bad habit of questioning. Coming to terms with how pointless life is and whether or not he belongs here. But he knows it’s not that simple

Life has become a pretense for him. It’s nothing but a lifetime of hiding. Hiding behind a mask that has a smile carved onto it. A mask strong enough to hide the magnitude of sadness that resides behind. No tears, no regrets, no questions, no answers, Just pain…

Where does this pain come from? Why is it there? And how long will it be until it takes over? He can already feel it leaking from the cracks in his mask. The impenetrable wall that he created is breaking and he dreads coming face to face with the breaker…

He’s just looking to escape, escape from this reality. But he is chained down by bonds like family and friends. Although they are merely illusions he lacks the strength and conviction required to realise the same and break them. So it’s as if he’s waiting for a train to come, lying on the tracks, chained down unable to move. All he can do is wait, wait for the train to come and run him over. Crushing every bone in his body, tearing flesh and splattering blood. Leaving behind a mangled, scarred and gravely wounded shell of a man who will perhaps never heal from this catastrophe. And his only reality would be to wait for the life to slowly drain out of him and for death to slowly wipe away the light, the pain and the noise will leave nothing but an unquestionable and eternal darkness behind.

Sleep

A silence engulfs me
Sucking me into a void
A void where I’m forced to sleep
For the remainder of my life
As my eyes shut
I embrace my end
But as the sleep comes
I’m pushed into my life again
Surrounded by people
Who pushed me into darkness
Who made me embrace
The deafening silence
But what does this mean?
That i have another chance to escape?
To fight and evade that darkness?
Or is it that I’ve just learnt
That the misery of life
Cannot be evaded
No matter how great the pain
And how deep the sleep